If I knew then what I know now…

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This blog post will likely not be titillating. That’s your fair warning if you were hoping for jerk off material. My vids are GREAT jerk off material, by the way:-)

Last night I hosted a focus group for a friend of mine who is planning to start an initiative for educating young women on sex issues. The purpose of the focus group was to find out what topics should be covered in more depth, to find out what young women want to know more about.

I was in attendance as a more experienced woman in the areas of sexual health, fetish/BDSM/kink, fetish parties, non-monogamy, consent, etc. I asked another mature female friend of mine to attend who has extensive knowledge in tantra, mindful masturbation, connection/intimacy, etc. (She’s well known for her tantra sessions, intimacy coaching, etc.: http://oliviajade.net/)

The conversation moved organically around a variety of topics: how to communicate with your lover about how you like to be touched & pleasured, dealing with lovers who have erectile dysfunction or low sex drive, tips on giving better blowjobs/handjobs, mutual masturbation, safer sex practices, how & where to get STI testing, where to get sex toys, sexual safety, consent & techniques to navigate date rape & non-violent sexual assault, helpful books to read, where to get fetish attire for fetish parties, birth control, how to teach a guy to clean his foreskin properly, learning how to have better orgasms, opening monogamous relationship up to include others, etiquette at sex parties or swinger parties, how to discuss your kinks or curiosities with a new partner…I deliberately just rattled off random topics because that’s how the conversation went, organically, naturally, moving from one topic to the next. We covered a lot of ground & in the end my friend got quite a few topic ideas that could be dedicated sessions.

In the beginning it was awkward but as we all became more comfortable & familiar I could see the value in this. Mature, more experienced women there to answer questions & give advice, younger women coming together & hearing each others questions, knowing that they aren’t alone or the only ones who have dealt with difficult situations or the only ones who don’t know certain things. The younger women were very appreciative of the opportunity & I’m a sucker for feeling appreciated. I for sure will be volunteering my home & myself for anything like this in the future.

I have been thinking for awhile of doing a series of non-pornographic vids for younger men. Vids that educate & help them to become better lovers & more intimately ‘connected’ to themselves. I would cover topics like masturbation techniques to prepare themselves for sex with another person, communication techniques to improve sex with another person, hygiene & grooming, consent/respect/compassion, understanding that most porn is entertainment not education/unlearning bad habits formed from watching porn, how to discuss your kinks with a new partner, etc. After last night I feel inspired to educate both young men & women. If I had known then what I know now! Well, I can help some of them get valuable info that will make their sex lives better, reduce anxiety, shame, confusion, etc.

If you have a topic you’d like me to cover in an educational vid please use the comments section here on my blog.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

POV vs. Voyeur?

Do you prefer porn where you are passively watching the action like a voyeur or when you feel more directly involved?

I was just contemplating POV (point-of-view) style filming, where the performer looks directly at the camera lens, connecting with the viewer, sometimes speaking directly to the viewer. Like in ‘virtual fucking’ where I’m alone with the camera but the angles give the viewer the feeling I’m riding his cock or face…or when there’s a stunt cock in the scene but the camera angle is set up basically where his head is so the viewer feels like the cock in the vid is his…or the view from where a cuckold might be, or a slave inside a cage, etc.

From "Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy"

From “Cum Drinking Cock Sucking Sissy”

From a POV virtual fucking scene "MILF Sex Ed"

From a POV virtual fucking scene “MILF Sex Ed”

From "Mindblowing Handjob"

From “Mindblowing Handjob”

From "Foot Worship POV"

From “Foot Worship POV”

From "Latex Gloves Ruined Twice"

From “Latex Gloves Ruined Twice”

From "Beg For Release"

From “Beg For Release”

I was thinking about this in relation to some of the virtual reality filming I’ve done recently with HologirlsVR (www.HoloGirlsVR.com). Full virtual reality (with the goggles) is certainly more immersive but more on that another day.

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I understand a lot of my viewers have had little or no sex…or little or no kinky/FemDom/fetish experiences. It can be hard enough for some guys to get laid at all but even harder in the real world for guys to get to live out their niche fantasies. I realize that watching my vids & imagining they are right there or they are the guy in the scene is as close as many of my fans will get to a real experience…be it a cuckold experience, or real humiliation experience, or even foot worship!

Watching my vids is a safe, discreet way to get their kink on & in some situations it’s probably better than the real thing. One could argue that the thrill & fulfillment from an in-person experience can’t be matched but one could counter argue that real life seldom lives up to expectations. It really depends. It’s a gamble.

It’s certainly a lot more cost effective to jerk off to a $10 vid than to spend hundreds on an in-person session with a Professional Dominatrix, although if you have the money that’s certainly a better option than spending hundred of hours trawling dating sites trying to find a woman who is into the same kinks, lives near by & with whom you get along with otherwise.

With this in mind I put in a lot of effort to genuinely connect to my viewer. I know that this experience might be the closest they ever get to living out their fantasies. I try to make it as real as possible.

I wonder how this is different from just watching the action in a porn vid where the performers don’t look at the camera & don’t address the viewer. It’s very rare for me to do a scene like this. Even if I’m doing a scene with a guy I usually address the viewer at some point, even if it’s just making eye contact with the camera lens, to let the viewer know I know he’s watching. They call that “breaking the 4th wall” in movie-making & theater. Deadpool does a lot of that & even points it out. (Side note: LOVED the movie Deadpool!).

But it can pull you out of the fantasy. It was certainly a no-no to look at the camera during most filming traditionally.

So, I wonder how ‘voyeur’ style porn vs. “POV” style porn effects the sexual development of men, young & older? Would POV style porn better prepare a guy for the real thing? I wonder how a guys body responds to POV vs. voyeur style scenes? For example, when I put the goggles on to view VR (virtual reality) scenes & I looked up to see a woman standing over me my body had a very noticeable physical reaction. My body did not know there wasn’t a real person there. I automatically reached up to touch her & it felt like I could.

The voyeur aspect of just watching people having sex or doing a FemDom scene, ignoring the camera certainly has its place too. That’s a style of viewing we’re certainly more used to. It’s how most TV shows, movies & traditional porn is presented.

From "Your Cuckolding Vid"

From “Your Cuckolding Vid”

From "Ball Abuse Ass Tease"

From “Ball Abuse Ass Tease”

I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please share your feedback in the comments area here on my blog so others can see & respond community-style (not on twitter or email, that doesn’t make sense really. Thanks!)

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Feeling grateful *smile*

My birthday celebrations are not over but I am feeling so grateful I just had to make a post today.

Yesterday was my 40th birthday & so many of you helped make my day awesome. It was a wonderfully blended day of my ‘work’ world enhancing my ‘personal’ world.

Cards from family, work peers/friends, films slaves & fans...all together:-)

Cards from family, work peers/friends, films slaves & fans…all together:-)

One of my film slaves popped by first thing to drop off a thoughtful & useful present. Then my boyfriend stopped in for a quick visit & brought a thoughtful surprise.

Then I went for a nice brunch with a close friend.

Brunch at the fabulous "Medina" YUM!

Brunch at the fabulous “Medina” YUM!

Then I spent the afternoon at the spa, using a gift card sent by a fan (thank you!).

My favorite spa, Miraj Hamman, where I am pampered, scrubbed & massaged.

My favorite spa, Miraj Hamman, where I am pampered, scrubbed & massaged.

Then I went for dinner & drinks with another close friend using a generous gift card from another fan.

Delicious food & outstanding cocktails at L'Abattoir

Delicious food & outstanding cocktails & L’Abattoir

I returned home to my thoughtful boyfriend who had baked my favorite birthday cake. He serenaded me & then took me to bed *wink*.

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I received this wonderful necklace that you’ll see in some of the pics. Thank you Dave! It’s hard to see in the pics but it’s a Fox holding a jewel in its mouth.

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The most overwhelming present I received was from my dear friends at The English Mansion. Sidonia Von Bork commissioned a portrait from the famous artist Sardax. He blogged about it here: https://sardaxart.wordpress.com/2016/04/29/portrait-of-mistress-t/

A pic of the portrait by Sardax & the home-made card by Sidonia Von Bork of The English Mansion

A pic of the portrait by Sardax & the home-made card by Sidonia Von Bork of The English Mansion

I am so honored & touched by this thoughtful & generous gift. My friendship with Sidonia Von Bork has meant so much to me. She is an amazing, fascinating person. I don’t even have the words…

My birthday celebrations continue tonight. I’m heading out with friends to a lively, sexy party where I’ll have a few drinks, dance a lot & who knows what else:-)

Then I will start chipping away at my list of 40 awesome things to do the year I’m 40. I plan to make this milestone year remarkable. Thanks to a sweet fan I already have a night at the symphony (on my list) planned for next week & a big concert (on my list) mid May. I have already started volunteering (which was one of the things on my list). I’ve been paired up with a nearly blind elderly lady for weekly walks. It may not seem like a huge thing, it’s not going to lead to world peace, but it means a lot to her & it feels good for me. It’s a start…& if everyone just did a little something for other people in need the world really would be a better place.

I have a bunch of other things to plan, hiking into hot springs, skydiving, paragliding, kayaking with Whales (ethically, at a respectful distance), finishing my book, random acts of kindness, converting a meat eater to vegetarianism (any volunteers who want help with that? Reduce animal cruelty, help the environment & improve your health!), learning Spanish, etc. I’m super excited about my 40th year!

Thanks again to everyone who sent birthday wishes & to everyone who supports the work that I love. It really means the world to me. BIG love! xoxoxoxo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

 

Mature Mentality

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I once heard this ‘joke’: A young bull & an old bull were on top of a hill looking down at a group of cows. The young bull excitedly said: “I’m going to run down there a fuck a cow!” & the older bull calmly responded: “I’m going to walk down & fuck them all.”

It’s funny, but it’s also a learning opportunity. I’ll get to it, but I’ll also share another interesting bit of info. The preferred client for a lot of sex workers, escorts & Pro Dommes, is middle aged men, not young, hot 20-somethings. Why do you think that is?

The title of this blog post is a hint. “Mature mentality” is what separates the men from the boys…but it’s not just an age thing. A 45 year old man can be cocky, disrespectful & annoying…and a 23 year old guy can be a complete gentleman…it’s just that cockiness tends to be more common for guys in their 20’s.

What does it mean to be cocky? Cockiness is a false confidence, it’s bragging or boasting about your good looks, how big your dick is, about how much sex you get, about how much money you make…it’s a sense of entitlement, that a woman should want you, that people should give you what you demand. It’s turning the focus on you, looking for reinforcement, it’s a hunger for recognition or power. It’s selfish & shallow.

A lot of older men will tell you that they were like that when they were younger. They think back on their 20 year old selves & laugh at how stupid they were but how much they thought they knew. They cringe at how they treated women.

Older men tend to be humble, they’ve made some mistakes and learned from them. They’ve learned through trial & error how to get a woman & how to please her…& it’s not about sex tips from Maxim…it’s about learning to listen to women, about turning the focus toward the woman rather than themselves. It’s unselfish. Often when women feel seen, heard, respected & cherished they then return ten fold what they received. Not always of course, there are selfish takers, but in general, older men find that they end up getting more in the end by giving more.

Young men tend to objectify women, see sex as a game with women as the opponents. Older men tend to appreciate connection & intimacy more. Again…there are exceptions on both ends but the reason I’m posting this it to encourage men who fall more into the ‘cocky’ column to rethink their perspective & actions. I encourage young men who tend to brag & boast to dial it back. Young men who think that they’re hot & that’s all it should take to get sex, to rethink that. If you’re the kind of guy who thinks sending an unsolicited dick pic to a woman is a good approach, you need to SERIOUSLY change your way of thinking.

I get emails every day from these kinds of guys. Boys in their 20’s who think that I should be falling over myself to take a session with them because they are good looking. These are the kinds of guys who would not respect my boundaries, who would think that once in the same room I would give in & let them fuck me. They think I would rather see them than a pudgy, balding 50 year old man. But I would take the mature, respectful, appreciative gentleman over the entitled, cocky kid any day.

You don’t have to be 50 to have that “mature mentality”. I’ve met guys in their 20’s that have it too. It’s a state of mind, it’s a way of living, it’s about coming from a place of humbleness, respectfulness, kindness, thoughtfulness & gratitude. These are not weaknesses, these are strengths. Imagine a great Knight who bows to his Queen. He is not weak or less than. He is strong and charming.

Food for thought:-)

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Sex Ed – Consent Is Sexy

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“Consent” has been in the news a lot lately. Mainstream porn can take a certain amount of blame for giving men the wrong ideas about consent. I’ve said it before but it’s worth repeating: porn is for entertainment, not education.

Consent is sexy guys…knowing that you have a full green light, a clear YES, that a woman wants you…that’s hot. Consent can be complicated though so get informed & level up on your man game.

I’ve just read this helpful article about consent that I’m going to share with you. It references “Club Eden” which is a classy, friendly sex club in he greater Vancouver area. You’ll find lots of other great posts there about swinging/non-monogamy plus useful sex advice. Check it out:

https://sexgetoverit.com/2016/03/05/getting-consent-in-a-sex-positive-environment/

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

My birthday is coming up!

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Why on earth would I be announcing my birthday? Presents, of course! I’m not really into Financial Domination but I’m not going to pass up an opportunity to get presents, gifts, offerings, goodies, treats, etc. Who doesn’t like getting presents?! *grin*

My birthday is April 29th & it’s the big 4-0 for me this time. I know, I look fantastic for my age & I feel fantastic too. Healthy diet, yoga, lots of walking, great sex, keeping things low stress, getting decent sleep…always striving for balance.

I have big plans for this year. Rather than celebrating with a birthday dinner or party I’ve made a list of “40 awesome things to do in my 40th year”…so that I mark this milestone year with a lot of memorable & meaningful things. The list contains some obvious activities like skydiving & paragliding but also things like “helping a young woman reach a goal”, volunteering & a minimum of 12 random acts of kindness. I included “finish my book” so for those wondering when my book will be done…I’m hoping by this time next year.

If you would like to “gift” me one of the awesome things on my list here are some examples of things you could contribute to:

– Kayak with whales (kayaking excursion in Tofino)

– Tickets for a local theater performance

– Tickets for the symphony: http://www.vancouversymphony.ca/concerts/

– Adrenaline activities: “escape room” game / paintball / zip line / skydive / para-glide

Gift certificates for my favorite spa are ALWAYS appreciated: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/ (Just give them my email address, they know who I am, it’s fine: MsT@MistressT.net)

Amazon.com gift cards are always a wonderful choice (to this email address): MsT@MistressT.net

Here’s my Amazon Wish List: http://www.amazon.com/registry/wishlist/LYLSUGVVJA6W/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ws_p9jbxb0WKY55P

If you would like to take me to the symphony, theater, out for dinner, etc. There is an additional tribute required for my company in public. Please inquire via email.

Thanks in advance for all spoiling! *smile*

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Back to work!

So I got back to work yesterday. I filmed for the first time in months, the longest filming break I’ve taken.

I had planned to start filming again in April & my keen film guys were chomping at the bit so filming got scheduled for April 1, without delay.

What hadn’t been scheduled was a bout of unglamorous food poisoning the day before. I was feeling pretty weak the morning of filming and considered cancelling the whole thing but decided to soldier on. I have always hated cancelling plans & pride myself on a reputation of being super reliable.

I dusted off the lights that were in storage and checked the camera to make sure it was still working. During its hiatus the battery had stopped working even though it was charged, but the camera works while plugged in, so no panic. That wonderful camera has traveled all over the last few years and has served me well. I don’t plan on retiring it. Hopefully a new battery will do the trick.

I had recently converted my purple ‘set’ to teal and I was excited to see how it would film. Yup, that’s what gets me excited and I’m not alone. I’ll give you a bit of behind-the-scenes info. I’ve filmed on a lot of sets and producers tend to put a lot of thought into colors and details. We really do get excited about our sets. Truth.

I took extra time to do my hair & make-up. I knew I was feeling tired, I didn’t want to look tired.

My pal Samantha Mack popped by to grab my dick. An impromptu visit. She had a custom vid request that required a very large strap-on dong & I had just the thing for her. We had a quick catch-up & I saw her out just before my first victim, er, film slave arrived.

It was great to see him. We’ve filmed dozens of scenes together. He’s very chill & best of all, he has a hair trigger for a cum shot. By that I mean that he cums very easily. He was the guy in the vid that I made ejaculate with just one finger. That makes my ‘job’ a lot easier. I can control the pace of the scene better that way, rather than getting to the part where I want the cum shot & having to jerk hard for a few minutes to get there, dragging out the dialogue past where I had wanted it. This whole hand job thing is an art. I know I make it look easy but it isn’t always easy.

He’s also great to work with because he has such a wide range of perversions. Pretty much anything I want to do he’s down for. The scene we did yesterday was an evil step-mother thing. I like playing the bad guy. It gives me an outlet for my dark side…& we all have a dark side.

We had a nice chat and a cup of tea after before he went back to work, in a better frame of mind for an important meeting. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s the truth.

Up next was a young fella I’ve filmed with a few times. I hadn’t seen him in quite awhile & he had worked hard to lose weight for me. He only had a little belly before and I’m not sure if I mentioned it to him but bellies can make filming more difficult as it can hide the action & make a dick look shorter. I was impressed that he went to the effort without being instructed…but I was most glad that he was just healthier. He had lost the little belly by cutting pop and junk food out of his diet. That will serve him well in the long run. I’m a real health nut.

We did a brother/sister scene which he thought was amusing because last time we did a mother/son scene. I promised him next time we’d do something with leather as I know he has a thing for that. He was a trooper though & performed like a champ.

The last victim of the day was a guy I have a lot of history with, 5 years at least. A slave I sort of dated for awhile a couple years ago. It wasn’t much of a relationship but it was fun while it lasted. He’s a good boy, crazy about ball busting, cuckolding & femdom. A true submissive with gentlemanly style. He loves to serve & he’s cute. A nice combo. I like filming with him & he’s made the rounds filming with most of the other Dommes around town. Little slut:-)

We did 2 ball busting scenes, both quite different. I don’t normally do hand job scenes with him (he doesn’t ejaculate as easily as I like) but he was so riled up & horny, he promised he would cum easily. And he did. The scene was super hot. A cuckolding scene incorporating real life events for us from the past. As I said, we have a long history so there’s a lot to draw from.

He hung around after filming, catching me up on his recent escapades. As a cute, fun guy he gets a lot of action in the local fetish scene. He did admit that sometimes girls say they’re intimidated by the fact that he dated “Mistress T”. An obstacle he no doubt manages to overcome. I told him he should do a blog about his adventures. He’s a ball busting film slave & party boy. He has an interesting life.

I was almost done for the day when another one of my ex’s came by for a visit. We were together almost a decade ago & have been great friends since. After he left I got ready for bed. I was tired but felt rejuvenated. All the filming went really well, I enjoyed it. I also felt blessed to have spent time with 3 of my ex’s (Samantha & I had a thing years ago as well). I’m grateful to have maintained friendships with people I’ve been in intimate relationships with.

This was a long blog with no pictures. I didn’t think to take any yesterday. I know not everyone likes to read long entries but for those who want to get to know me more intimately this blog probably hit the spot.

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Booking filming spring/summer 2016

Mistress T glove and fur

Cum here.

I’m starting to resurface after taking some time off to write and to deal with the loss of a family member. Thank you to those who offered your condolences and thank you to those who respectfully gave me space.

I’m excited about starting filming again! I’ll now accept applications for those wanting to film with me in April and beyond.

At this time it is unlikely I will accept private sessions or distance slaves as I’m still writing my book. I’m returning to work part time. I might make an exception in the right circumstances (a VERY generous offer from a well-mannered, interesting, easy-to-deal with client).

#1 requirement to apply to film with me: you MUST be in Vancouver as I am not traveling anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Again: filming in Vancouver ONLY.

To be extra clear: if you are not in Vancouver do not email me about filming.

Got it? Good.

#2. You must send a $100 deposit for me to review your application. What? Yes, you have to pay me to even consider you. Why? Because I have more duds than I do viable applicants and I have enough regular film slaves that I don’t really need new ones. So you have to prove you are worth my time.

3 options for tributing:
1. Online E-Transfer to this email address (from any major Canadian bank): MsT@MistressT.net
2. Tribute button on my clips store: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
3. Gift card for my favorite spa. You can buy online with paypal or go in & pay cash in person. Ask them to email the gift card to MsT@MistressT.net. They are used to it as a lot of fans send me gift cards from there.: http://www.mirajhammam.com/gift-certificates/

#3. You must email at least 1 clear nude torso pic with erect penis. I prefer average to fit guys with less body hair and bigger dicks. If you don’t look like that you may not want to apply but you are welcome to. If you send $100 I will seriously try to find some way to film with you. The only time it’s okay to send me a ‘dick pic’ is when you’ve paid me $100 to look at it…but please try to get more than your dick in the pic. Standing in front of a mirror works. I don’t need your face in the pic or in the vid. The headless are welcome to apply:-) Email pics AFTER you’ve sent the deposit: MsT@MistressT.net

#4. Tell me what you’re into. List what activities you’re into or how you think you could be used in MY vids. I use stunt cocks, if you just want to lay there & get jerked off, say that. If you can take a big strap-on in your ass, let me know. If you’ll suck cock or would let a guy suck you, tell me. If you’re a fan of my vids you know what kind of scenes I film & where you might fit into the mix.

NOTE: I am NOT filming any toilet stuff. I will not allow oral worship, do nude facesitting or have intercourse with strangers. If you film with me for awhile & I want to do those things with you we’ll discuss it if we reach that comfort level that but do not expect any of that in the beginning.

I think that covers it. $100 gets my attention. Applications without it will be ignored:-)

xo

Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://www.MistressT.net/blog/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet

Good from bad.

Life can be complicated sometimes, can’t it? Things are usually not all bad or all good. We can feel a range of emotions & even opposite feelings at the same time.

I was recently in Thailand, doing yoga, writing, taking a break from work and enjoying the heat. I had just traveled from one island to another to take a scuba diving course when I received a message about a death in my family in Nova Scotia.

It was evening. I had just arrived by ferry on a tiny island in Southern Thailand with a small bag, enough for a few days. The rest of my stuff was with my boyfriend on another island. I sat there reading the message, in shock, needing to suddenly be somewhere very far away and being powerless to get there. Someone very dear to me needed me, someone who would be very traumatized by this death.

I eventually gathered myself, spoke with family members and booked onward travel for the next morning, with a great deal of difficulty and expense. I would go straight from there with my flip flops and summer dresses, travel for a couple of days to get to snowy Nova Scotia. I didn’t know when I would see my boyfriend again and we’d been joined at the hip for months. It was a long, lonely journey.

Death is something that happens to all of us. It’s what surrounds it, the details or sorting things out afterward, the adjustment of life without that person that sometimes we don’t expect to be so difficult.

I said at the beginning that things are not all bad. In this case I have spent a couple wonderful weeks connecting with family in so many ways. It has been very emotional, mostly good. Pretty much all good actually. Who knew so much joy could come from death? It’s difficult to fully explain without giving away too many private family details but I’ll say that as a result of this death some of us have come together and connected deeply like never before. I’m very sad to be leaving soon to go back to Vancouver but excited to be reunited with my boyfriend (who is coming home early from Thailand too) and other friends. This is the reality for many people who decide to move away from their family. Over time you have one life in one place with people that you love and also in another. Always feeling torn between being happy where you are and longing for somewhere else.

So it goes.

I’ll be back in Vancouver soon but I have no plans to get back to work any time soon. (So requests for webcam, custom vids, sessions, film slave applications, etc. will continue to be deferred until April). I plan to write and do yoga as I was doing in Thailand but from home. A ‘staycation’. (Is that how you spell that?) I’ll take time to be kind to myself. I’ve already booked a day at the spa shortly after my return, using a gift certificate from a thoughtful fan. These selfless gifts from fans mean a lot. It makes me feel that some of you see me as a real person and not just an object.

Many of you left very sweet comments on my Twitter page when I tweeted about the death in my family and I saw the evidence of your support in my video sales that day. It’s not about the money really, it’s about proof that my fans care enough to buy a vid as a way of signalling they’re thinking of me. Thank you.

To anyone going through a hard time right now I invite you to look for the good and be grateful. Things are never all bad, there is always something to be grateful for.

Love,

Mistress T

http://www.MistressT.net

http://clips4sale.com/23869

http://www.MistressT.net/blog

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Who am I to you?

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I’ve had a lot of time to think here in Thailand. I basically just do yoga, eat, sleep, write and do a few other fun things. It’s the longest I’ve gone without filming or editing. I have an auto-responder on my email so I just check it occasionally for anything urgent that my auto-response doesn’t address.

My life is usually about 70% Mistress T. (Anyone who runs their own business will understand) Right now it’s about 10% Mistress T.

I haven’t told a single person in a month what I do for work. I realized last night when I met someone new and told the white lie of being a video editor. I haven’t had to explain what my bizarre job is or lie about it in weeks. People here are less about ‘what do you  do back home?’ and more about ‘what are you doing here right now?’.

It’s interesting to me that to thousands of men I am just Mistress T. That they only see me as the cruel cuckoldress, the holder of chastity keys, the ass-fucker, the woman who makes men suck cock, the kinky MILF, the strict Dominatrix, the ball-buster, the one who controls orgasms, makes men submit…that to some men I am only Mistress T.

I see you. The jerker-offer. I see you eating your own cum. I see you sticking toys in your ass watching my vids, imagining it’s my strap-on. I see you following my instructions and cumming on command. I see you and I know that is not all that you are. I know that after you cum you might have to get back to work, back to your wife, back to your sick mother, back to your favourite video game or TV show. I know that some of you are lonely and some of you are extremely busy. Some of you wrestle with religion and your desires. Some of you are sneaking around behind your wife’s back, some of you are watching my vids with your girlfriends. I know you have opinions and feelings.

I know that some of you want me to call you a worthless fucktard in one moment and then after you cum wish someone would tell you that you have worth and that you are loved.

I know that you are multi-dimensional. That you are complicated, sometimes contradictory.

I fulfill fantasies. I am a fantasy. Mistress T is a part of me but it’s not all of me and it’s dangerous to allow my fans to objectify me into that tiny box. By letting you see me, by making you really see me, I am hopefully fighting the objectification of all women. If I make a guy think: “Oh wow, Mistress T is actually a real person, she’s the kind of person that friends come to for support when they get their hearts broken, some of her peers call her Mistress Goofball because she’s so silly and loves to tell bad jokes, she was really socially awkward and lonely as a kid, she’s passionate about animal welfare and the environment so she’s mostly vegetarian, she loves cat vids and hates cucumbers…” Maybe the next time they see a hot woman in public or a woman in another porn video they’ll see past the tits & ass to the human beneath. The person who has loved, been loved, been hurt, who has fears, passions, problems and triumphs.

I’m not trying to stop you from having your indulgences. When your dick is hard what turns you on turns you on. It’s how you’re hard wired. But when you’ve blown your load take a moment to honour the Goddess who just helped you get your rocks off, whether it’s in person, in vid or your imagination. Whether it’s me or someone else. Take a moment to consider that they have a life beyond your fantasy, just like you. Respect.

Mistress T

http://www.MistressT.net

http://clips4sale.com/23869

http://www.MistressT.net/blog

https://twitter.com/MistressTdotnet