A little of this & that…

Posted on July 24, 2012 by Mistress T

This will be kind of a hodge-podge blog post.

Banana’s don’t really go in Hodge Podge…

If you’re not familiar with that term…when I was growing up hodge-podge was a dish my mother made with fresh veggies from the garden (potatoes, carrots, peas, green beans, etc.) boiled, water poured off and then cream and salt & pepper added. I loved it…and it means a bunch of stuff all thrown in together.

#1. Follow up to blog post about my judgmental neighbors.

About 5 months ago I wrote about my neighbors finding out about my profession. There was talk of them forming a lynch mob to drive me out of the building:

http://mistresst.wordpress.com/2012/02/28/being-judged-sucks-monkey-balls/

I received an outpouring of support and many inquires from folks wondering how things turned out. At this point, nothing else has really happened. Their worst nightmares or fears never became reality. I have been quiet and considerate. There has been no drama with me so no cause for them to take further action. For now it has blown over & I hope it stays that way.

Happy to have a home…for now:-)

#2. Follow up to my man-hunt.

About a month ago I wrote about my search for a partner:

http://mistresst.wordpress.com/2012/06/22/must-love-dommes/

http://mistresst.wordpress.com/2012/06/24/follow-up-to-must-love-dommes/

I did not receive the avalanche of applications and proposals you might have expected. I tried a little online dating but other than that, there’s not much to report. I’m still single and often wonder if I really want my life to change. There are pro’s & con’s to being in a relationship vs. being single…and often the grass seems greener. My life is pretty awesome right now…

Awwww, pretty cute, eh?

#3. I just went on a swingers camping weekend.

And I didn’t get laid. Shocking, right?

There were about 40 people, all couples except myself and one other solo female. I was there with a half dozen wonderful friends who I’ve known for years…these friends just happen to be in open relationships…and they are an inspiration. They have the healthiest, happiest relationships I have ever seen…I’m referring to MY group of friends, not ALL swingers. Oh, by the way, they prefer the term lifestylers to describe the modern version of swingers who are younger & more physically attractive. (Although a google search for the definition of lifestyler will reveal that the term is used in a whole lot of other alternative lifestyles other than swinging.)

The highlight of the weekend was a very fast motorcycle ride along winding roads with breath taking scenery. It was thrilling being on the back of a motorcycle going that fast, feeling so vulnerable and so alive. I certainly get the whole adrenalin junkie thing. Zing!

Weeeeeeee!!!!!

#4. What’s happening now and what’s coming up?

I recently commissioned a portrait of myself. The artist/painter is working on it as we speak. The process has been very interesting as his art is more about telling a story about a person. He needed to get to know me which meant making myself very vulnerable to a complete stranger. He’s very talented so I’m excited about the end result. I may or may not post the image on my blog. I’ll decide when I see it if I feel comfortable exposing it to the world or if I prefer to keep it private.

The artist is Drew Young: http://dyoung.co/

I have been answering loads of interview questions lately which has been an interesting experience. It’s made me look at what I do in a different way. I’ll post links when interviews go live.

Thinking so hard smoke must be coming out of my ears…

This week will be busy with filming & editing. This weekend might be a bit of a crazy party weekend…then Monday I leave Vancouver for a bit. A couple days in Chicago with a special long-time client before I hit Tampa for FetishCon:

http://mistresst.wordpress.com/2012/06/29/fetishcon-in-florida-aug-2-5/

We are still looking for good quality film slaves and I now have an opening the evening of August 1 in Tampa (for a private meeting or for filming). Email: MsT@MistressT.net

I might be heading to New York for a couple days after Tampa before returning to Vancouver. A very generous slave is making it difficult to say no even though Vancouver is my favorite place to be in August. It’s about the only time of year we get decent beach weather here…& I love being naked down at our beautiful clothing-optional Wreck Beach. A couple days in NY with a fun, generous slave is pretty tempting though…we’ll see.

So that’s the next couple weeks…I am still planning to head back to London/Bath in the fall. Probably late September but I’ll know better by the end of August.

Lastly, I’d like to share part of an email from a fan who had the privilege of spending time with me recently:

“How often can you say in life that the reality was so much better than the dream.

I thank you for a truly wonderful experience. I can genuinely state that I have never experienced anything like you gave me this evening, I repeat never.

I would have willingly left without cuming just to have spent that precious time with you.

I will contact you the next time I am in Vancouver and if I have a long enough stopover in other places I’ll try and establish your availability.

Thank you for access to your site. It was most unexpected and I am delighted. I love the site password :).

However, I must admit I was very touched that you gave me a hug after. I really appreciated that experience.

Please take care and safe travels and I hope to see you soon.”

Happy Fetish Porn Star:-)

I did warn you it was going to be a hodge-podge blog post!

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Do Men Hate Women?

Posted on July 13, 2012 by Mistress T

I came across this interesting article: “5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained To Hate Women”.

Link: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html#ixzz20VvWlh4z

The whole article is great and I recommend clicking that link & reading the whole thing…I’m just going to touch on a few things from the article and add my own comments here. Whether you agree or disagree with the author of the article or me…or if you have anything to add, I invite you to comment!

#5. We were told that society owed us a hot girl.

“Does it seem like men feel kind of entitled to sex? Does it seem like we react to rejection with the maturity of a child being denied a toy?”

T: For this point the writer talks about how the guy always gets the pretty girl at the end of every movie and by this and in other ways men grow up expecting that they’ll just get a great girl.

I’m not sure how much I agree with this point…but I will say that I think those same movies teach women that happiness is dependent on a relationship. Which is a whole other topic.

I have certainly witnessed many times men getting very angry over rejection. Not just frustrated or disappointed, but fucking ANGRY. It makes a certain amount of sense that someone would get that mad if they felt entitled to something & they weren’t getting it.

I also ponder this as it applies to “Tease & Denial” & fetishes for different forms of sexual rejection. I know from personal experience that certain men WANT to be denied, get off on being rejected, love being taunted with what they can not have. This strikes me as one of those situations where the intensity of emotion for one thing becomes eroticized, like wires getting crossed…kind of the pain/pleasure thing, but psychologically.

#4. We’re Trained from Birth to See You as Decoration

“Her role in society or level of accomplishment doesn’t matter. Even if she’s a damned candidate for the Supreme Court, the female always has a dual role: to function as a person, and to act as decor.”

“Yes, even in that setting, when judging a female for a position on the highest court in the land, our instinct is still to judge her suitability as a sex partner. It’s the first thing we notice.”

T: In this section the author talks about what’s already been talked about to death…how we are all (men & women) brainwashed into thinking a woman’s physical beauty is more valuable than intelligence, personality, creativity, etc.

I hate that this is true BUT I am very grateful that I got to be one of the pretty ones. It really lubricates life. I worked hard in my early 20’s to prove myself by taking jobs where I interacted with people over the phone. I know that if I wasn’t pretty, or if I became disfigured that I would would make my way in life using my brain but for as long as I still have my looks, I’ll take advantage of that too.

#3. We Think You’re Conspiring With Our Boners to Ruin Us

“Seriously, do a Google search for “masturbating in public library.” Notice something in common with all of those stories? They’re all dudes. I’m saying that men are far, far more likely to engage in extremely high-risk masturbation in public. They’re more likely to do it at work, and they’re more likely to do it in situations where they could go to jail.

It’s because, in males more so than females, the sex drive is completely detached from the rest of the personality. The part of the male brain that worries about job security or money or social reputation or legal consequences has almost no veto power over the sex drive. You’ve heard guys say they were “thinking with their dick” or “I was thinking with the little brain” or “I took an order from Captain Bonerhelmet.” That’s what they’re referring to.

Science doesn’t seem to totally understand why the “base urges” part of the brain reacts differently in men. Maybe it’s just a matter of having 10 times as much testosterone in their system, or maybe society has trained us to be like this, or maybe we’re all spoiled children. My theory is that evolution needs males who will stay horny even in times of crisis or distress, and thus cuts off the brain’s ability to tamp down those urges. Whatever — nailing down the cause isn’t the point. The point is that a man can be giving the eulogy at his own grandmother’s funeral, and if there is a girl in the front row showing cleavage, he will be imagining himself pressing those boobs in his face, with his own dead grandmother not five feet away.”

T: I found this point most interesting…the writer talks more about anger and how men get mad because they feel it’s women’s faults that they can’t control their urges. I wonder if this anger is more or less prevalent in the FemDom community? I wonder how many men who jerk off to FemDom porn resent sexy, powerful women for having so much control over them? Feel free to comment on this.

#2. We Feel Like Manhood Was Stolen from Us at Some Point

“A once-great world of heroes and strength and warriors and cigars and crude jokes has been replaced by this world of grumpy female supervisors looming over our cubicle to hand us a memo about sending off-color jokes via email. Yes, that entire narrative is a grossly skewed and self-serving version of how society actually evolved. It doesn’t matter.The result is a combination of frustration and humiliation and powerlessness that makes us want to get it back in the only way we know how: with petty, immature acts of meanness.”

T: I found this point less interesting…the writer expands on this but the above quote gives you an idea of what he was driving at. Men are resentful that they have been forced to adjust their behavior by women… in the workplace, etc.

#1. We Feel Powerless

“It’s like that for most men, most of the time. We’re starving, and all women are various types of food. Only instead of food, it’s sex. And we’re trying to conduct our everyday business around the fact that we’re trying to renew our driver’s license with a talking pair of boobs. So, from about age 13 on, around 90 percent of our energy and discipline is devoted to overcoming this, to behave like civilized human beings and not like stray dogs in a meat market. One where instead of eating the meat, they want to hump it.”

“This is really the heart of it, right here. This is why no amount of male domination will ever be enough, why no level of control or privilege or female submission will ever satisfy us. We can put you under a burqa, we can force you out of the workplace — it won’t matter. You’re still all we think about, and that gives you power over us. And we resent you for it.”

T: This is really what it all boils down to. As hot as it can be to give up control in a sexual power exchange scenario, most people prefer to be in control of themselves & their lives. We hate anything that we’re obsessed with or addicted to that has any control over us: cigarettes, coffee, drugs/alcohol, gambling, video games, a TV show you can’t get enough of…a book you can’t put down…a food that you crave (chocolate, hamburgers)…PORN.

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Filming doesn’t always go smoothly…

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Mistress T

Fans of my films see the end result. The finished product, after all the set up, filming and editing. What goes on behind the scenes? Do you ever wonder? Do you wonder WHO the guy is? What his story is? Do you wonder if there were out-takes or bloopers? What happens when things don’t go as planned?

I hope this doesn’t pop the fantasy bubble for some of you, but I wanted to share an experience from today to give you a sense of the REALITY of the type of porn I create.

A few months ago a fan contacted me wanting to meet me. He lived far away in the US and after a few months and a hand full of emails he ended up coming to Vancouver. He really just wanted to meet me. A private session, coffee or filming was discussed and we settled on filming a foot job vid because he didn’t have enough money for a private session and I didn’t want to go on a date with him.

The moment he saw me he gushed that I was even more beautiful then they said I would be. I wondered who ‘they’ were but he was so nervous I just let it go.

He was young but showed me his ID to prove he was in his early 20’s (legal) and let me know right away he was sexually inexperienced. By that I assumed a virgin. I made him a cup of tea while he rambled on about what a huge fan he was and how amazing it was to finally meet me…he rambled about a bunch of other personal stuff too…I’m used to nervous guys doing this and just let him go on and on.

I didn’t say much as I set things up for filming, he was doing all the talking, watching me move around the room he paused mid sentence several times to say how beautiful I am in person.

Everything was all set and I told him to remove his cloths and lie down. His pubic hair wasn’t trimmed at all and he pretended to be surprised by it himself and said he ‘forgot’ to trim it…to which I replied: “You didn’t forget. Don’t lie. You have never trimmed that bush & you know I prefer it trimmed.” He apologized.

We started filming and he warned me that he would likely cum very quickly. He had filled out the film slave application from my blog so he knew I preferred film slaves who cum easily. I felt optimistic.

However, after several minutes of feet-on-cock action I could tell we were going to have problems. He said he needed to touch me. I allowed him to touch my leg. He asked to see me naked. I said no. He asked me to have sex with him. I said no. He said he needed more intimacy. I said: “You’ve come to the wrong place.”

At this point I’m thinking of you the reader. If you’re another Domme reading this you’re probably thinking either: “Jerk!” or “Yup, business as usual.” If you’re a guy reading this you’re probably thinking: “Geez, ya can’t blame the guy for trying!” or “Would it kill you to be a little nicer to the poor boy?”

I suggested that if he couldn’t actually cum from a foot job than we could do a tease and denial vid instead. He begged me not to, he said he needed to cum and that he could do it with his own hand. Now, I know that a vid with a guy jerking himself off on my feet isn’t going to be a big seller. I knew that by letting him do that I was pretty much putting the nail in the coffin of this shoot. All my time wasted. A vid that probably wouldn’t sell…but believe it or not, I have a soft spot. I told him to go for it. It was evident he was never going to cum from a foot job anyway. It wasn’t intimate enough for him.

After all was said and done he begged to film with me again. Promising he would do better next time…but also saying that he just needs more intimacy. I explained that you don’t go to a car mechanic to get your toilet fixed…and you don’t come to someone who specializes in humiliation and Domination for a cuddle.

He admitted to being a virgin. I asked if he really thought I would have sex with him and he said he hoped so and he was sure he would cum in like 30 seconds FOR SURE. I let him know that that wasn’t going to sell me on the idea. It’s not going to happen.

I feel bad for him. I do. To be a virgin in your early 20’s and to come so far just to meet the fantasy woman you’ve been jerking off to for years and then to be sexually rejected by her. As much as I do humiliation and cruelty in my vids, I actually didn’t get any pleasure from sending him away so sad. I wasn’t about to have pity sex with him though.

I haven’t decided what I’ll do with the vid yet. I’ll have to watch it and think about it. Here’s a still from the cum shot:

He shoots!…but he didn’t score…

If anyone has the thought that I wouldn’t have these issues if I hired professional male performers…understand that overall I prefer to work with real fans, personal lovers or friends. I think it gives my films a more authentic feel. I also really enjoy meeting and getting feedback from real fans…and I did enjoy meeting this boy today. I just didn’t enjoy sexually rejected him and I wish we could have created a better vid. You take the good with the bad though!

NEW NOTE (Added Aug 6, 2012): I decided to release the footage from this shoot. After watching it I felt like there was certainly enough hot stuff there for someone to jerk off to…but it’s also a very unique and interesting vid if you know the full story behind it. I did not edit out all the awkward bits either. This is the full, raw version:

http://www.clips4sale.com/23869/6633289

(I can’t hyper link to clips4sale from here so you’ll have to do the extra work of copying & pasting the link. It’s called “Blooper Shoot Full Length”).

Best,
Mistress T

Members site: http://www.MistressT.net
PPV: http://www.clips4sale.com/23869
Blog: http://mistresst.wordpress.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/MistressTdotnet

Home from my fun road trip!

Posted on July 8, 2012 by Mistress T

I’m back from a great week-long road trip with my gal pal. She turned 40 this last week and this is how we chose to mark the milestone.

We set out with a loose plan of making our way to Calgary to visit another friend of hers, stopping along the way to check out some wineries and hot springs. We were traveling in her parents camper thinking we would be ready for anything but we only slept in it twice the whole trip. Once just randomly on a side street and at her friends place in Calgary who already had company in the spare room and living room.

We took a couple little ferry’s during our trip too…fun & so beautiful!

Check out our cool ride! The scenery was breath taking.

We spent a couple nights at Halcyon Hot Springs in a posh cabin:

Hmmm, camper or cabin? I’ve made my choice…

We ended up doing quite a few hot springs: Halcyon, Radium, Upper Banff, Fairmont and Ainsworth. I loved how fancy Halcyon was but my favorite was Ainsworth with it’s very cool cave! It was hard to get pics inside the steamy cave but I managed a couple:

Hot n’ steamy inside the cave at Ainsworth Hot Springs.

Here’s a better shot of the actual cave with therapeutic hot springs water pouring in. It was VERY atmospheric.

Spending hours on the road talking to my friend about everything under the sun was wonderful. We stopped when we were hungry and ate at quaint diners. We got junk food when we stopped for gas. We ate tons of cherries, strawberries and peas from road side farmers markets. We stayed in some nice places and not-so-nice-places. We saw a lot of wild life along the way: bears, deer, elk, etc.

The time at her friends place in Calgary was interesting. A small horse ranch in the middle of no where. The kind of home with needlepoint pictures of horses on the wall and lots of nic nacs like toll-painted cats. I knew the other visiting friends were going to be interesting when I noticed the tattoos on his arms: a marijuana leaf, an eagle and a winged unicorn…and she started talking about the end of the world on Dec 21. All very down to earth friendly people who reminded me of my family in Nova Scotia. Rural people tend to be very different from city people and although I prefer the city, it was a good reminder of my roots to spend time with them.

The trip was fairly tame. We didn’t end up hitting too many wineries or partying very much so we decided we should go out with a bang on the last night. We got a room next to the most happening bar in the small town of Osoyoos. We sat at the bar drinking and waiting for it to get busy but even at its peak there was probably no more than 40 people, most under 30. I was approached by a boy who said his friend had a crush on me but was too shy to come up to me. I asked how old he was, they were both only 21! I explained that I’m 36 but he didn’t care. We spent the last hour of the night sitting with a table of 21 year olds, dancing and chatting. It was flattering, but it felt a bit silly.

They were very sweet but I didn’t go home with any of them. The one who liked me seemed more interested in dating me than having a one-nighter (he actually lives closer to Vancouver, they were tourists in Osoyoos too.) I wasn’t really interested in either….again, it was flattering but it felt a bit silly.

Speaking of silly…here’s a hand full of funny pics I took along the way: