The ups & ‘downs’ of filming with civilians

"Is that thing going to get hard?"

“Is that thing going to get hard?”

I have a lot of interesting stories about filming with fans, friends & regular folks. In case you didn’t know already: I don’t hire professional performers. I live in Vancouver, not LA, there aren’t even pro’s here to hire (that I know of).

Each guy has his own story, interests, quirks, etc. Some guys I end up filming with on a regular basis & they’re great. I like the authenticity I get from filming with civilians. Sometimes they kind of flop on the first go. This is one of those stories.

He applied like any other. He sounded good, his pics showed a decent enough figure & a big enough cock…although it was not fully erect. Sometimes it’s hard for guys to take good selfies, so I didn’t think much of it at the time.

He was visiting from another city. I suggested we go for dinner to get acquainted. Over dinner he spoke in length about another Mistress he had been seeing whom he was overly infatuated with. It seems he felt they were at a cross roads where clearer boundaries needed to be defined or they needed to take the relationship in a more personal direction. It sounded like he would only really be satisfied with a more personal direction.

*Insert groan here*

I hate situations like this. I’ve been there with clients & most of the Pro Dommes I know have been there too, in one way or another. Sometimes lines get blurry. If you’ve sessioned hours & hours with a regular client & you genuinely enjoy it & like them…the client can start to feel like the relationship is more personal than professional. They can start to resent paying by the hour. Sometimes clients & Dommes end up in real-life romantic relationships if the feelings are mutual. Rules get bent or broken. It can cause confusion.

I inserted that *groan* because I haven’t a clue what this guy’s Mistress is feeling. I have no idea if he’s a delusional & obsessed or if she has led him on maliciously…or if she is in love with him…I-have-no-idea. So it’s tricky for me to play the therapist when I have no idea what I’m really dealing with…and he very much wanted my advice & opinions. Awkward.

So we try to film a scene after dinner  (and after talking about his dilemma for a couple of hours). No surprise: he can’t get an erection. Not even a flinch. It is the softest penis I think I have ever felt. After a little while I ask if he thinks this is going to work…he suggests maybe if he tries himself to get it hard it might work. Sexy as hell, right? I ask if he’d like me to leave: he says yes!

So I find myself sitting in the next room while this guy is wanking himself thinking: it’s lucky I have a strong sense of self worth or it might be a bit of a blow to the ol’ ego to be asked to leave so a guy can get his dick hard. All hail Mistress T: erection destroyer!

I few minutes later I hear a weak “I think it’s hard!” & I pop my head in to see a quickly disappearing micro erection. Like a real erection but much softer.

I called it a wrap. He paid me well as an apology for wasting my time, confessing the whole thing was just an attempt to distract himself from the other Mistress.

And so it goes. Ya win some, you lose some. Fortunately I win way more often *smile*.

Best,
Mistress T

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5 thoughts on “The ups & ‘downs’ of filming with civilians

  1. I had to laugh at “Mistress T: erection destroyer!” At least every other woman who’s experienced something like this should take comfort. If it can happen to you, it can happen to literally anybody. But serious talk can have that effect sometimes. I hope this guy gets a second chance, and if he does, is smart enough to focus on the amazingly beautiful and sexy Mistress in front of him.

  2. I kind of expected, this would/could turn into a fabulous, infamous Ms T humiliation scene. Re-negotiate on the spot… 😉

  3. glad I didn’t have that problem when I was lucky enough to shoot the epic “Cruel Surprise” vids with you. Still a found memory for me, and I’m still hopeful to get anothet chance to be under your heels. 🙂

  4. I had the same problem w/ an ex – about 13 years ago- she was an ex-stripper, & I had the typical male fantasy, when she actually wanted me to fuck her – I was so intimidated, I couldn’t get it up! I feared that I would not be good enough / large enough to please her. I would probably have the same problem if I was in your presence. I eventually overcame the problem, & we had some wild sex, the whole experience was an important lesson for me.

    a long time fan

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